Friday, April 16, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The UPRISERS
"I know in my heart she's right," Shamash muttered to himself in Draconic just after ruining her world...
In a world of terrible things, one of the worst things that can happen is for a hero to realize that what he's doing might be almost as terrible as what he's fighting against. That being said I will try to write this entry in consideration of the wholecloth of our campaign history.
After Wikipedia Jones and Aurora left for a Pelor retreat, Robrick Willikers III, Shamash Kriv & Fy'Ev, Hadji, Rholain, Ella Enchanted and Jorel of the Stars continued to investigate the area where the 3 captive princesses had just been freed (see previous blog entry, Rod picked up where B left off). It turned out there were a lot more princesses and nearly all of them had been turned into zombies. Further investigating revealed the dracolich was using them as an example and as leverage against those who rose against draconic rule by sending them back to infest their populations at any time. The "Uprisers" (that's what they call the party, we hear) discovered maps and information about the various dragon ziggarut temples, each representing a city of a different race, all enslaved and pitted against each other when convenient.
So here laid before us on a golden platter was the evidence and information we needed to continue our mission to free the non-dragons of the world from slavery and oppression. We learned the nearest ziggarut was that of the fey Eladrin from examining the jewelry of one of the zombies, Qui-Ellen (I probably got that name wrong).
We flew there on Rholain's giant mosquitos and they were nowhere to be seen, though there were large teleportation sigils embedded in forest clearing. Upon investigating, we discovered some invisible entities hiding there and began fighting them until we realized they were the very Eladrin we had come to help. Shamash and Hadji were able to diffuse the situation before anyone was killed, fortunately for us (this group of Eladrin handled themselves pretty well). Our truce agreement involved getting the Qui-Ellen Eladrin zombie princess back to them to prove what we were talking about. (This is one of those things I reflect on now: they asked for it, but did they realize they were asking to be exposed to the zombie rot?)
Upon going to their city (more like ruins where they lived) we learned the Eladrin had been free from dragon rule for 600 years, and had enslaved lizardmen and dragonborn alike. Upon reflection, Shamash saw a problem and an opportunity here. The uprisers had succeeded in freeing a lizardman city from the dragons, and if the Eladrin would just abandon their slaving practices, trade between the two communities would be mutually beneficial - more so than just mere forced farm labor. After Jorel drew a crowd with a spectacular pyrotechnics display, Shamash worked them into a chant of "Freedom!" "Prosperity!" Shamash used his hat of disguise in MLK fashion, appearing as every race in turn and emphasizing the equality of all races and their true common enemies: slavery and dragons.
Meanwhile, the Eladrin queen wasn't buying it. She had seen our party in action in the woods, had seen that hypocrite Shamash bossing his henchman Fy'Ev around like a slave. She came up behind him right at the end of the speech and pulled his hat off. "See!" she screamed, "don't listen to him, he's a lying lizard!" (or something like that). She had lost the crowd by now though. Shamash turned to face her and called her a bigot slavemaster, no better than the dragons. She left to get her army, who she would soon turn loose on the crowd -- and on us. But though we might disagree with her the party didn't necessarily perceive her as an enemy. Ella had been reading a book about the teleportation sigils so the party left before things got too hot.
Us "uprisers" had after all just started a civil war.
The sigils took us into the mountain caves, a shortcut to our next destination. We were ambushed by a large group of Shadar-Ki, who were standing in positions surrounding us when we popped in. Outnumbered and desparate, we did what we do best: we attacked and killed as many as we could (which is pretty much what D&D heroes do). Here was something clear: good vs. evil, life vs. death.
Quick flashback: Hadji was killed in combat with the crazy killjoy Shadar-Kai a couple adventures ago, and Rholain somehow was able to revive him. These guys have de-buffing gloom attacks and stuff like that and use long chains as weapons - they're pretty tough, though our party is tougher than we used to be.
So we pulled out all the stops. We had good initiative rolls and we all used our action points to bring down their numbers before they could really hurt us again. The bad guys had a circle against fey that limited the movement for Robrick Willikers, Hadji and Rholain. But our quick-strike strategy worked and we won the encounter. Hadji had his revenge on their leader too, stripping him bare and cutting him off at the knees even though he had surrendered. Shamash thought maybe he should be interrogated and also that he shouldn't be given the chance to bring more Shadar-Ki down on us. But even Jorel, our cold metal friend, could see we had gone to far. Rholain thought we should just leave and he was probably right.
We learned two things from the Shadar-Ki leader though: First, the Eladrin queen had warned him we were coming (so maybe they're allies?). Second, there was a ziggarut for the Shadar-Ki too so probably we lost an opportunity to negotiate with them to join us in the fight against the dragons. If Shamash had followed the ideas from his own speech he could have prevented bloodshed and gained an ally instead of another enemy. Plus now we are a little worried that the infighting among the Eladrin will weaken them and whether or not they keep slaves, they could all become enslaved again by the dragons. So we may be responsible for ending their 600 year reign of self-rule.
---
Secret Diary of a Dracolich
Day 99827, the Third Age of Reclamation:
Ha!
Ha Ha!
Ah yes, part of me wishes that I could take credit for all that has happened, but no- the feeling is much sweeter knowing that I did nothing. This was free. As I slither and skulk through the subconscious of my infected harbingers I smile as their dreams reveal the dismal vicissitudes of my hero’s hard days work.
My heroes discovered the bourgeois dungeon. I’ll have to move the dignitaries within. They also killed Old Thiseranthis. My fellow Dracolich was ripped to shreds as he slept on the rocks by my heroes. My dear heroes were left without their hairpiece and mouthpiece. This left only the Drow, the Harbinger, my kind friend Rohlan, the Betrayer (and his betrayed), Hadjii, and some girl on a horse.
My cartographic heroes put their heads together and consolidated their resources to discover an Eladrin settlement that matched the princesses they found within the dungeon quite nicely. Queen Quelana the Second was not terribly thrilled to be reunited with her sisters. The sisters which she had handed over to the Shadar-Kai two years ago as reparations for her mother’s actions and to conveniently remove the sentiments from the popular discourse. Sentiments which would my heroes would unleash full throng on the gullible proles below in short order.
The Quelana have always been a pleasure to deal with. Her mother tripled the numbers of our servants in the region, at the price of a false and meaningless sense of freedom. Old Theiseranthis, often with great joy, recalled the day Quelana the First ripped the Shadar-Kai from whatever oblivion they dwelt in, and traded their freedom for a false sense of her own and a clutch of eggs that would bosom into a labor force- a labor force that will be much more sympathetic to our cause in the future, rather than any universal declaration of rights. A pointless gesture, but a hilarious one. Soon the rabble of farmers and freed slaves will draw dragon blood and break their covenant. I’ll make an even better deal this time.
Ideas are a dangerous thing, oh yes. The Harbinger assembled a crowd with a majestic clarion call. As Quelana the Second stood in contempt at the words echoing out from her balcony spewing from the lips of the Betrayer, my dear Hadjii tried to dissuade her. “How?” she asked. “How shall the six of you, who plan to leave within the hour, defend my people from the wrath of the deep empire?” she asked over the resounding roar of the crowd below as the peace she had defended for three hundred years crumbled around her. Little does she know that he was absolutely correct. Unchecked these few could stand against any number of enemies, undo any will set against them. As my heroes fled the riot they had created below Quelana the Second’s soldiers fertilized the barren ground with the bodies of her once content and well fed subjects. Freedom my kind friend Rohlan called it. I muse at what Quelana the Second shall promise us to change absolutely nothing about our current behavior in the region. Perhaps I shall set that forked tongue of hers towards my heroes future allies.
Now then, this is really the best part. Seeking a short cut across the mountains my good heroes utilized the Eladrin Carin Stones to appear deep within the mountain under the dominion of our most humble servants, the Shadar-Kai. Afflicting an entire population with a magically created zombie curse, and transforming ten into zombies for every one that even speaks of rebellion results in high levels of humility, oh yes.
HA!
The Shadar-Kai shall be left wondering when no one comes to collect what is owed this month, what with Old Thiseranthis indisposed and disemboweled as he is. The tragedy of this situation is almost sickening, as I consider all that could have been accomplished with a few sentences I shudder. Ah, but our dear heroes had no idea they had already wholly liberated them from their chief oppressor and would have immediate allies of the Kai as they cut them down and- this is the best part: loot, plunder, and burn the homes they had sacked! OH YES! WORD OF THIS SHALL BE SPREAD QUICKLY INDEED!
Mere minutes after espousing the equity and worth of all of the surface’s disparate peoples my heroes let their biases get the best of them and slaughtered their Shadar-Kai ambushers with the same fervor they had chosen to talk with their Eladrin ambushers not a day earlier- simply, one can only assume, because they were Eladrin. The Equality of all races indeed! Yes, we have always worked the set the myriad surface peoples against each other, consistently lowering median gains, but to see my heroes blunder. Hadjii cut off a surrendered mans leg for no reason other than to spite the Betrayer who wanted to force the creature into bondage and carry him off- minutes after delivering an equestrian eulogy to the society of our Eladrin allies. When the Drow curses the ethics of her comrades I can do nothing but smile.
Also, and this is good, truly: Quelana the Second was a planeshifter, which is of course the profession my dear heroes need to find a friendly practitioner of in order to go about clearing up that nasty infection. So that would have been helpful to my dear heroes. Which of them shall I turn first?
Nothing quite matches the savory smell of burning bridges. I almost feel like I am trying too hard.
Tick-tock, my dear heroes.
Tick, tock indeed.
-X
In a world of terrible things, one of the worst things that can happen is for a hero to realize that what he's doing might be almost as terrible as what he's fighting against. That being said I will try to write this entry in consideration of the wholecloth of our campaign history.
After Wikipedia Jones and Aurora left for a Pelor retreat, Robrick Willikers III, Shamash Kriv & Fy'Ev, Hadji, Rholain, Ella Enchanted and Jorel of the Stars continued to investigate the area where the 3 captive princesses had just been freed (see previous blog entry, Rod picked up where B left off). It turned out there were a lot more princesses and nearly all of them had been turned into zombies. Further investigating revealed the dracolich was using them as an example and as leverage against those who rose against draconic rule by sending them back to infest their populations at any time. The "Uprisers" (that's what they call the party, we hear) discovered maps and information about the various dragon ziggarut temples, each representing a city of a different race, all enslaved and pitted against each other when convenient.
So here laid before us on a golden platter was the evidence and information we needed to continue our mission to free the non-dragons of the world from slavery and oppression. We learned the nearest ziggarut was that of the fey Eladrin from examining the jewelry of one of the zombies, Qui-Ellen (I probably got that name wrong).
We flew there on Rholain's giant mosquitos and they were nowhere to be seen, though there were large teleportation sigils embedded in forest clearing. Upon investigating, we discovered some invisible entities hiding there and began fighting them until we realized they were the very Eladrin we had come to help. Shamash and Hadji were able to diffuse the situation before anyone was killed, fortunately for us (this group of Eladrin handled themselves pretty well). Our truce agreement involved getting the Qui-Ellen Eladrin zombie princess back to them to prove what we were talking about. (This is one of those things I reflect on now: they asked for it, but did they realize they were asking to be exposed to the zombie rot?)
Upon going to their city (more like ruins where they lived) we learned the Eladrin had been free from dragon rule for 600 years, and had enslaved lizardmen and dragonborn alike. Upon reflection, Shamash saw a problem and an opportunity here. The uprisers had succeeded in freeing a lizardman city from the dragons, and if the Eladrin would just abandon their slaving practices, trade between the two communities would be mutually beneficial - more so than just mere forced farm labor. After Jorel drew a crowd with a spectacular pyrotechnics display, Shamash worked them into a chant of "Freedom!" "Prosperity!" Shamash used his hat of disguise in MLK fashion, appearing as every race in turn and emphasizing the equality of all races and their true common enemies: slavery and dragons.
Meanwhile, the Eladrin queen wasn't buying it. She had seen our party in action in the woods, had seen that hypocrite Shamash bossing his henchman Fy'Ev around like a slave. She came up behind him right at the end of the speech and pulled his hat off. "See!" she screamed, "don't listen to him, he's a lying lizard!" (or something like that). She had lost the crowd by now though. Shamash turned to face her and called her a bigot slavemaster, no better than the dragons. She left to get her army, who she would soon turn loose on the crowd -- and on us. But though we might disagree with her the party didn't necessarily perceive her as an enemy. Ella had been reading a book about the teleportation sigils so the party left before things got too hot.
Us "uprisers" had after all just started a civil war.
The sigils took us into the mountain caves, a shortcut to our next destination. We were ambushed by a large group of Shadar-Ki, who were standing in positions surrounding us when we popped in. Outnumbered and desparate, we did what we do best: we attacked and killed as many as we could (which is pretty much what D&D heroes do). Here was something clear: good vs. evil, life vs. death.
Quick flashback: Hadji was killed in combat with the crazy killjoy Shadar-Kai a couple adventures ago, and Rholain somehow was able to revive him. These guys have de-buffing gloom attacks and stuff like that and use long chains as weapons - they're pretty tough, though our party is tougher than we used to be.
So we pulled out all the stops. We had good initiative rolls and we all used our action points to bring down their numbers before they could really hurt us again. The bad guys had a circle against fey that limited the movement for Robrick Willikers, Hadji and Rholain. But our quick-strike strategy worked and we won the encounter. Hadji had his revenge on their leader too, stripping him bare and cutting him off at the knees even though he had surrendered. Shamash thought maybe he should be interrogated and also that he shouldn't be given the chance to bring more Shadar-Ki down on us. But even Jorel, our cold metal friend, could see we had gone to far. Rholain thought we should just leave and he was probably right.
We learned two things from the Shadar-Ki leader though: First, the Eladrin queen had warned him we were coming (so maybe they're allies?). Second, there was a ziggarut for the Shadar-Ki too so probably we lost an opportunity to negotiate with them to join us in the fight against the dragons. If Shamash had followed the ideas from his own speech he could have prevented bloodshed and gained an ally instead of another enemy. Plus now we are a little worried that the infighting among the Eladrin will weaken them and whether or not they keep slaves, they could all become enslaved again by the dragons. So we may be responsible for ending their 600 year reign of self-rule.
---
Secret Diary of a Dracolich
Day 99827, the Third Age of Reclamation:
Ha!
Ha Ha!
Ah yes, part of me wishes that I could take credit for all that has happened, but no- the feeling is much sweeter knowing that I did nothing. This was free. As I slither and skulk through the subconscious of my infected harbingers I smile as their dreams reveal the dismal vicissitudes of my hero’s hard days work.
My heroes discovered the bourgeois dungeon. I’ll have to move the dignitaries within. They also killed Old Thiseranthis. My fellow Dracolich was ripped to shreds as he slept on the rocks by my heroes. My dear heroes were left without their hairpiece and mouthpiece. This left only the Drow, the Harbinger, my kind friend Rohlan, the Betrayer (and his betrayed), Hadjii, and some girl on a horse.
My cartographic heroes put their heads together and consolidated their resources to discover an Eladrin settlement that matched the princesses they found within the dungeon quite nicely. Queen Quelana the Second was not terribly thrilled to be reunited with her sisters. The sisters which she had handed over to the Shadar-Kai two years ago as reparations for her mother’s actions and to conveniently remove the sentiments from the popular discourse. Sentiments which would my heroes would unleash full throng on the gullible proles below in short order.
The Quelana have always been a pleasure to deal with. Her mother tripled the numbers of our servants in the region, at the price of a false and meaningless sense of freedom. Old Theiseranthis, often with great joy, recalled the day Quelana the First ripped the Shadar-Kai from whatever oblivion they dwelt in, and traded their freedom for a false sense of her own and a clutch of eggs that would bosom into a labor force- a labor force that will be much more sympathetic to our cause in the future, rather than any universal declaration of rights. A pointless gesture, but a hilarious one. Soon the rabble of farmers and freed slaves will draw dragon blood and break their covenant. I’ll make an even better deal this time.
Ideas are a dangerous thing, oh yes. The Harbinger assembled a crowd with a majestic clarion call. As Quelana the Second stood in contempt at the words echoing out from her balcony spewing from the lips of the Betrayer, my dear Hadjii tried to dissuade her. “How?” she asked. “How shall the six of you, who plan to leave within the hour, defend my people from the wrath of the deep empire?” she asked over the resounding roar of the crowd below as the peace she had defended for three hundred years crumbled around her. Little does she know that he was absolutely correct. Unchecked these few could stand against any number of enemies, undo any will set against them. As my heroes fled the riot they had created below Quelana the Second’s soldiers fertilized the barren ground with the bodies of her once content and well fed subjects. Freedom my kind friend Rohlan called it. I muse at what Quelana the Second shall promise us to change absolutely nothing about our current behavior in the region. Perhaps I shall set that forked tongue of hers towards my heroes future allies.
Now then, this is really the best part. Seeking a short cut across the mountains my good heroes utilized the Eladrin Carin Stones to appear deep within the mountain under the dominion of our most humble servants, the Shadar-Kai. Afflicting an entire population with a magically created zombie curse, and transforming ten into zombies for every one that even speaks of rebellion results in high levels of humility, oh yes.
HA!
The Shadar-Kai shall be left wondering when no one comes to collect what is owed this month, what with Old Thiseranthis indisposed and disemboweled as he is. The tragedy of this situation is almost sickening, as I consider all that could have been accomplished with a few sentences I shudder. Ah, but our dear heroes had no idea they had already wholly liberated them from their chief oppressor and would have immediate allies of the Kai as they cut them down and- this is the best part: loot, plunder, and burn the homes they had sacked! OH YES! WORD OF THIS SHALL BE SPREAD QUICKLY INDEED!
Mere minutes after espousing the equity and worth of all of the surface’s disparate peoples my heroes let their biases get the best of them and slaughtered their Shadar-Kai ambushers with the same fervor they had chosen to talk with their Eladrin ambushers not a day earlier- simply, one can only assume, because they were Eladrin. The Equality of all races indeed! Yes, we have always worked the set the myriad surface peoples against each other, consistently lowering median gains, but to see my heroes blunder. Hadjii cut off a surrendered mans leg for no reason other than to spite the Betrayer who wanted to force the creature into bondage and carry him off- minutes after delivering an equestrian eulogy to the society of our Eladrin allies. When the Drow curses the ethics of her comrades I can do nothing but smile.
Also, and this is good, truly: Quelana the Second was a planeshifter, which is of course the profession my dear heroes need to find a friendly practitioner of in order to go about clearing up that nasty infection. So that would have been helpful to my dear heroes. Which of them shall I turn first?
Nothing quite matches the savory smell of burning bridges. I almost feel like I am trying too hard.
Tick-tock, my dear heroes.
Tick, tock indeed.
-X
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